Right from the first cry as a baby till the first cry of the your baby, you always wish to be with your parents and cherish all the beautiful as well as hard moments with them. All kids want that love, pampering and care from their parents. We all wish to be the most important person for our parents. But think about those who have to undergo a lot of harsh and sorrowful moments in life because of their parents’ separation. Kidsafterseparation behave in a very sensitive way. Even the smallest irritating thing turns out to be a big issue which disturbs the mind. They react very drastically and with great anger even to the smallest issue.
Divorce affecting kids behaviour
The way a child behaves after their parents’ separation sometimes depends on the age and gender of the child also. The effects may be short term and chronic also. However sadness and anger are the common behaviour actions seen , regardless of the age and gender of the child.
Divorce has affected many corners of the world mostly a large portion of Australia was hit by around 50,000 divorce cases in the year 2009. Most of which affected kids below 18 yrs of age.
Effects on kids after separation
As stated above, sadness and anger are common behavioral changes. In most of the cases, the child tends to undergo depression and loneliness. This affects its way of living and mixing with the society. The tend to lose their concentration in studies, they do not get involved socially. As a result in most of the cases, the academic results are affected and the child cannot get along towards its dreams. Their talent is also lost somewhere. The child loses its interest in its hobbies and is left aimless. In some cases, it so happens that the child starts thinking that they are responsible for the separation. The child should be given counselling at the right time ( if anger continues for 3-4 months). The chronic or the long term effect on kids after separation is that possibility of the child getting indulge in bad activities such as drug intake, leading towards criminal thinking etc. This can really be dangerous and it is always better that the child receives counselling before it indulges into such activities.
In most of the cases, children facing separation at younger age suffer more psychological disturbance as compared to older children or adults. Similarly researches have proved that girls have more tolerance to bear and digest the fact that their parents have separated, at least at the earlier stages i.e upto 5 yrs of separation, whereas the boys take a lot of time to overcome the sadness. But after around 10 years of separation, the boys become mentally and emotionally stronger, whereas the girls undergo more isolation and tend to be more depressed at this phase of separation.
How important is it for the child to get attention and love from both the parents?
There are many smalls things which kids fantasies to have. One such thing is their desire to have their parents’ involvement in all the activities of their life. If parents pay attention to their hobbies and their talent, they get that motivation and support to move towards their goal and they get the strength to work towards achieving their aim. Children feel safe and get that keen feeling to learn, experiment more and grow. It is said that a person can be an ex-partner but not an ex-parent. The parents get separated with their own choice but the kids have no choice to do so. Why do the kids have to suffer because of the separation?
A couple can be separated from the relation of being a husband or a wife after divorce but cannot be free from the responsibility of being a parent. Hence it is very important that the couple has to make arrangements for the kids. The kids should be informed about the place where they will have to stay after separation so that they get enough time to accept the situation. The family court provides valuable information about ways by which you can make arrangements for the child. After the separation, the child should get care and love from both the parents even if the child stays with one of the parent. The kid should be dealt with such by which it feels that the parents have full attention on their life, so that it feels secured. In most of the cases, the parents may find a new partner, in such cases they should not hide it from their children and should freely introduce their partners to the child. The two parents should behave in such a way when they visit the child, that the child feels positive from within even after staying away from one of the parent. It should be made sure that the parents visits to their child should not be a visit to check upon or spy on the other partner. It should be necessarily to talk and spend time with the child. Both parents should compromise on few issues which would otherwise disturb the behaviour and mind of the child.
Court’s help in making good arrangements for the children after separation.
It is the child’s right to be and stay with the family members. The court see’s to it that the child receives utmost attention and love from both the parents even after separation. Court makes a decision in such a ways that the child is safe and protected from any kind of harm after the departure. In cases where the parents do not agree to each other’s decision regarding their children’s arrangement, the court makes the arrangement for the child considering it’s best circumstances and situations.
No matter if the parents want to stay away from each other but this decision of getting separated should not prove to be selfish by neglecting the needs of the children. Kids after separation should be handled in a very proper way and should be given the appropriate counselling at the right time.